6 Things to Give Up for Happiness, Fulfillment and Peace

By September 18, 2014Self-improvement

Lesya Li, founder of the awesome site HavingTime.com is a special guest blogger this week! Lesya shares six things to give up to feel happy, fulfilled and at peace. Take it away, Lesya!


Let’s agree that we all want to feel happy, fulfilled and at peace. What can we start doing differently today that will put us on that path? We can start by giving up these six things…

Self Doubt

So many people won’t go for better chance in life only because they doubt themselves…

Why? Obviously, no one likes the idea of looking incompetent in front of the others. That’s why we choose “safer” options sometimes to stay firmly on the ground instead of aiming for the Moon.

What thoughts do you tend to choose to nurture your mind?

Negative thinking is a toxic habit.  Can we change that pattern? Of course we can. Will it happen overnight? Not quite. By starting now we can choose to be more aware of the way we think and approach life.

Next time when negative thought appears, ask yourself this: is it helpful to me?

When we mindfully change the way we think, we get different results. Therefore, strive to put  yourself in the environment where you nurture your mind with positive thoughts and ideas, instead of negativity that ultimately leads into disappointment with life.

Doubt your doubts before doubting yourself and your abilities to  achieve  your goals.

Fear of Failure

Emphasized worrying and overwhelming fear of failure is a misuse of imagination.

When was the last time you felt extremely uneasy even though everything panned out to your benefit in the end?

Did the wave of relief wash over your face when you realized that you had nothing to worry about?

I was wasting my imagination on worrying for years. I was frantically coming up with new “horrific” outcomes of what might happen. Instead of focusing on improving something that was stressing me out, I would spend pointless hours procrastinating and worrying.

Does this sound familiar?

One thing helped me immensely. One simple thought: Any day above the ground is a great day! It puts all the worries on a bigger scale and lets us assess better what is really worth wasting our health worrying on. And quite frankly, nothing is worth your health!

So let the worries go and spend your time better preparing for tomorrow.

Criticizing Others

Have you ever been mistreated or judged? Have you ever judged someone too? Undoubtedly, it’s easier to fire up a judgment instead of slowing down and trying to see things from different angle.

No one has the right to judge you. The same rule applies when we attempt to judge others. The judgments and assumptions are based upon our own thoughts and have nothing to do with people in subject. There is no way we could ever fit in their shoes and walk a mile to really get to understand them, their life experience and all the struggles that resulted in the way they behave, or say the things that might upset us sometimes.

Take a moment and imagine for a minute what it’s like to be in his shoes?

Try to become more understanding even when it feels like an enormous challenge. We all yearn to be heard and understood, don’t we?

Find that beam of kindness in your heart that shines and let it lead you through the days when we need to deal with tough situations and people.

Criticizing Yourself

We all have that tiny voice of inner critic rattling, don’t we? Sometimes it goes on and on and never seems to shut up, spreading the seeds of self-doubt further and deeper impacting the way we feel about ourselves.

For years I had that negative chatter-box turned on without realizing how damaging to my self-esteem it was.

Start questioning your negative self-talk and be vigilant of how you  feel  when something sour is about to turn bitter.

Think about positive self-talk that reinforces your faith in your abilities and your talents.

Example: ”I look fantastic in these  clothes!”, “I will make it through presentation with a standing ovation!”.

It is about building a new foundation and reinforcing a positive self-talk that would give you a firm grip in order to move forward in life and truly believe in yourself.


Procrastination is a bridge. A bridge between two uncertainties of an outcome that can go both ways really. It’s about whether you fail or succeed if you do something that you are prolonging to get done.

Procrastination is that bridge that gives you a false sense of comfort. You catch your break there. You don’t need to decide… you postpone and postpone…

We all want to avoid pain and rush ourselves towards pleasures as fast as humanely possible. We wish to skip the whole turmoil of actually going through the process of “getting things done” step by step.

Why? Granted, we associate what we postpone to do with pain… that’s why it is a natural strive to avoiding doing those things.

The more aware you are about the things that you do and the motives, the easier it gets to stop and reassuringly say to yourself: you CAN do it. No need to rush. Just one step at a time. Starting NOW.

Need to be Liked

Back in school I believed that to be an intelligent nerd was something dirty. I didn’t want other kids to  feel  bad when they wouldn’t get the marks I was getting.

To them, my accomplishments seemed effortless, where in reality both of my parents were working and coming home late when I was already asleep. So the main source of companionship and “entertainment” was found in books. I never felt that lonely and deserted while I was reading.

Reading expands your mind naturally. So it’s virtually impossible not to get good marks when your imagination, creativity and understanding of how things work expand accordingly.

I never wanted to stand out from anyone else because I was afraid that my peers wouldn’t like me for that, but I did. I did stand out whether I liked it or not.

We do care less what others might think of us with time.

We will never discover what others  think of us anyway. So why feed our minds with our own  assumptions of “what they might think?!”

Any day is a good day to release yourself from it and give yourself peace. It’s your job to like and accept yourself.

We all face struggles and challenges on our own. We worry, we deal with issues, we move on. What is up to us is to make sure that we reduce the emotionally draining experiences of our everyday life by mindfully changing the way we think and approach life.

Lesya Li runs HavingTime.com providing readers with inspirational stories, helpful tips and some rather mind-twisting answers to life’s challenging questions. She finds her passion for life in traveling, reading and writing, practicing yoga and exploring…

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